"Beautiful" by Eminem is the best & most real song in the entire album. I love it. His first line "I'm just so fucking depressed..." -straight to the fucking point.

Guess what? ( Read more... )

Do some people really live in your heart forever? -damn.

My niece is 8 months old & she pulls hair, scratches your face & wants everything in sight. Even though she's a handful right now; I completely adore her for practically beating me up lol I tell her "No, don't pull my hair", etc. [cause we don't want her to grow up thinking it's ok to pull & scratch people], but inside... I am just smiling so big & loving her.

I can't believe Michael Jackson died. It's so sad & it may sound silly, but I have moments were I want to cry because of it. I was at work when my coworker came up to me & told me he was in the hospital... I completely stopped what I was doing and was in disbelief. So I went to the back where the tv was on & saw the news. Few minutes later; my phone was blown up with text messages about him being dead.

I don't even know what to say. I have many memories with Michael's music playing in the background. It's just so surreal. Rest in Peace, Michael. I love you.



August 29, 1958-June 25, 2009

I hope I find someone someday to be comfortable with.

I used to listen to this song so much when I was in love with Jessica.

It's my birthday! Ahhh. hehe.

My birthday is in a few days. I'm going to be 24. _woah. Seriously, honest to God; I feel like I am at least 20 or 21. I am three years behind. I was always kind of slow! ;p

:]

My good friend Anabel has moved into my house. She's been here for almost one week come Sunday. It's okay I guess. Only reason I say "it's okay" is because I kind of have to worry about what she's going to eat for dinner. Since sometimes I don't eat & just go to bed. Can't do that with her. Or I don't feel comfortable? I dunno. -She moved in because she works here in Downtown Los Angeles & she lived in Santa Fe Springs/Downey [somewhere around there lol] and although it's not that far with a car, it seems like a million miles away when you take the bus/train. So yeah. Plus her Mom was moving too. So when my brother moved out, we told her she could move in.

I'm so tired lately. -I think I need to start drinking coffee. hehe. I'm sorry I have abandoned my lj a little. I just hate to sound so repetitive. I have good days & then days where I don't want to exist anymore. But that's everyone, right? -Yeah. My skin is so dry! :[

I have an enormous girl crush on her;



Her name is Cat from The May Fire & she's doing a solo project [sort of] named Tasso. She rocks man. I really dig her. She's so bad ass. <3 I caught her smiling a little here. =D

fucking up. Or maybe I just make big things out of nothing. either way, I am uncomfortable. But I'll be okay. -I always somehow am. Even if I'm "okay" in a fucked up way. ha.

i like it. i just think they look different from other flyers. lol it's real east la, i guess. i don't have fancy programs. sooo yeah. i still dig it though. for those of you who don't live in LA/OC, California, there was a radio station "Indie 103.1" that played real cool songs, and it recently was taken off the air. So there's a show going on in hopes of helping those that lost his/her job & to hopefully help bring it back!

it's cold man! I should be cleaning the house like i promised my mother i would, but dang. it's so unfair that i have to clean this huge mess when i'm never even here, you know? i started, but it's cold. i'll finish up right now. i work on valentine's day. who cares though.

do you have a myspace? Add me!

www.myspace.com/iwant_toseeyou

I start school again tomorrow. -I'm kind of nervous. I'm always nervous when I start a new semester. It's going to be good though! :] Wheww. We're having a little cake party thing for my niece because it's her birthday tomorrow. I'm baking her cupcakes. I wanted to bake some brownies as well, but that'd be too many carbs! ha. I mean, there will be cake there. So yeah. Lord knows I ate pizza last night like it was my last day on earth. Gross! I felt like committing suicide after wards. lol

It's been so long that I have no idea what to write about. Or how to start. Let me throw stuff at you:

1. My best friend [she's not really my bff anymore, but it feels weird not calling her that] is pregnant! -She's going to get married and although I wish her the best, I have a feeling she's fucking up. You're not supposed to get married because your having a child. Sure they discussed marriage before the pregnancy, but they both wanted to wait and now that there's a kid involved, they are rushing it. -Crazy. Hope i'm wrong! :]

2. My niece Tyanna is getting bigger and oh my gosh! I love that little kid.

3. I got a cell phone! lol

4. I am broke, but I still plan on attending three shows this month! It was going to be four, but one was cancelled. 

5. I have the hots for a tutor at my job, but I don't see him anymore! :[ -I kind of talked to him the last time. He's real shy and kind of odd. But hey. I'm kinda weird too.

6. My best friend Everardo made his own music page & I am soooo excited for him! :]  add him! www.myspace.com/evdub [haha gotta promote!]

7. I'm a little sad that my laziness gets in the way of me being more creative. I have it in me, but I get so lazy! It's so freaking cold in here, that all you really wanna do is be under the blankets. Seriously. I need a little heater. I still need to stop being lazy though.

8. I went to Amoeba records the other day and it was POURING! It was way fun. My friend Anabel and I got lost off the bus because we went the wrong way, so we kinda walked in a big circle in the pouring rain. Before we got to Amoeba, we went to Out of the Closet [a thrift store] and I bought this cool ass purple scarf, a little mexican doll, and a smoothie book! All for six bucks! woo! lol -Then we went to Jack in the Box [because I love that shit. It's like crack to me]. I had a lot of fun on... Thursday!

9. Friday morning I got this bitch [internet] running. lol Turns out I had a lot of viruses. -I'm too poor to buy the Anti-virus shit.

10. About two weeks ago, I went to the Viper Room to see Astra Heights [and other bands] play & that was fun because I got in for free! lol They had a huge, generous guest list. The drinks were very strong/good! So well worth the expense.

11.I have learned that I love Skyy Vodka. It's real good, no wonder they advertise it everywhere.

12. I was hanging out like a cool kid outside of the Viper room smoking cancer sticks and I just remember tripping out on everyone. It was a Wednesday night, and all these people were partying. I wonder who those people are sometimes.

13. I wonder who I am sometimes.

Hi. i have no internet access at home. -i'm alive though. about to go to work for some baby shower. booo. i don't wanna go. but yeah. i should have my net up & running soon. so don't worry. you will be reading my ramblings in no time soon! lol

i hope you're all doing well. &hearts;

I feel kind of gloomy, but I hope it fades away soon.